It is an art, after all. Plus, it's darned fun, and just a little bit naughty ("Back off. That ain't your leaf pile, mister..."). With that in mind, here are some helpful hints to make your leaf bashing season the bestest ever.

Kit Carsons and Pile Courting
It's October, you find yourself innocently pedaling along, when lo and behold, there before you is the Holy Grail of fall, a huge leaf pile. How you handle the situation will say a lot about your character, if not your general health. Dive into it like you'd just been granted Tokyo shore leave and you'll likely end up on your noggin. A little patience, a little respect, and most leaf piles will meet you half way.

That's why it's not a bad idea to do a little recon up front. Some of the most innocent and virtuous looking piles will sport a few bricks in their midsections, placed there to deter wanton advances. If you're with a group, you'd do well to send in a couple Kit Carsons (brave, selfless scouts) to do a little recon. If the pile proves to be free of debris, then everyone can feel free to let hell fly.

If you're by yourself, then use your best judgment, keeping in mind that the brain is often considered the most important organ. An 18 inch piece of rebar driven through your skull ain't gonna help ya, unless of course you've been looking to join the Vegetable of the Month Club. When it comes to pile courting, a little patience goes a long way. we've known bashers who will woo a pile for days, even weeks, before they become intimate with it. Some would say they're slow movers. We think they're the last true romantics.

Boom, Wake, Spread, and Frosting
There is a lot of nomenclature specific to leaf bashing, most of which is used to define how a rider interacts with any given pile. We've included definitions that will hopefully accentuate the leaf bashing experience.

Boom
Hitting a leaf pile can make an awful racket (at least when it's done right). "Boom" defines the auditory sensation that is at the front end of every leaf pile relationship. Just as it is in life, the bigger the Boom, the more meaningful the experience.

As a side note, if you're in a group, it's always a good idea to allow riders with the more diminutive Booms to go first, saving the heavy hitters for last. That will allow everyone to make their mark and then amble on to the next pile without prematurely tipping off the POOP (Previous Owner Of the Pile).

Wake
With a decent head of steam, a rider will thrust leaves outward and away from the bike, much like a boat does with water. A decent beginner wake will rise roughly one third higher than the pile itself (W=HOP x 1.33 where HOP equals height of pile). Experienced bashers can generate some serious HOP, to the point where leaves are often re-distributed back into the trees themselves.

Spread
Any leaf basher worth their salt is gonna leave the pile in some disarray." Spread" defines what the pile looks like after impact. It's also the one true reflection of creativity, since Spread can often take on the appearance of art. Renoirs in the group know how to form leaf brushstrokes by dragging their feet and thus distributing the organic material in impressionist swirls all over the street.

Frosting
Any leaf material that is subsequently adhered to the bicycle or rider is affectionately known as "Frosting". Lots of Frosting not only dresses a bike up, it also rubs against the tires, spokes, crank, etc. turning the bike into a two-wheeled symphony.

Worn upon the person, Frosting is quite highly regarded within the bashing community. In rare cases, heavy amounts of frosting have even been known to serve as camouflage, quite necessary in the event the POOP chooses to hunt down the offending parties. (Fellow leaf basher Ed Gresham once evaded capture for 45 minutes whilst successfully posing as an adolescent Norwegian Maple.)